well somebody can just throw me a chocobo for being such a toot for not updating often.
i admit, there are many times i wanna say things but i just don't know how to say.

hmm... what happened since aug 18 huh?

I went for HPAIR Conference, and truly truly enjoyed myself.
i must be like, the most boring-est person in the whole world,
to actually like conferences like this.
but i made lots of friends, and knew lots of japanese people.
wahahahaha XD
happy happy.

but i went to a club for the first time during the conference.
yep, the committee booked butter factory for us to play at.
and like what my facebook status says,
clubbing is boring.
really don't know how people can go there week after week
to get themselves groped and hit on.
weird.

instead of dancing and drinking, i ended up talking to the butter fact workers
(see? what did i say about boring?)
who was telling me about nights when no one in the club is sober.
yikes, i wouldn't want to be there >.<

after that, dance practices...
and the grand welcome :)
it was alright, i did make a few mistakes,
but it was a good experience to dance in such a large stage ^^
and hopefully we see new blood in the club! *eyes shine*

and then... school reopens! (finally!)

***

The final evaluation of my to-do list in the hols:

1) read at least 10 books
After being highly successful by reading percy jackson at one shot,
i kinda slackened and thus i've only read seven and a half books.
I'm halfway through "Abhorsen".
Boo.
But I made reading progress, definitely.

2) sell some of my books
bah, didn't happen.

3) meet up with guild members
didn't happen either. too many things happened to my guild within the few months

4) meet up with amanda and siti
yes i met up with them a few times before amanda left for canada. :)

5) watch at least 2 anime titles!
didn't happen (WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING IN MY HOLS?)

6) clean my room
happened again and again and again and...

7) sign up for one bible study
didn't happen too, thanks to practicum.

8) play Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy X-2
i'm at the last stage of ffx and just started on ffx-2.
i always thought that my fave is ff7 because of the maturity and depth of the story.
but the truth is, i really REALLY love ffx.
more more so than 7 and 8.
that's the beauty of final fantasy.
each game is so different such that different people have their own favourites,
(most people like ff7 and ff8)
yet similar such that everyone can relate to each other. :)

argh. truth is, i'm a final fantasy fangirl. there's no more hiding it.

9) go for chalet

been there, done that.
can't wait for the next chalet :)

10) organise all my music files in my computer
11) organise all my pictures in my computer
12) swim once a week (someone should slap me if i don't :X)

OPPS.

***

So much for a frutiful holiday huh?

during the holidays, perhaps one of the biggest revelations i had
was that... i wasn't THAT into dance as i thought.
once again, maybe not news to some of you,
but i only realised recently that i just like dance a lot,
but it's not my passion, and i don't pursue it like how jasmine, herman and peggy does.
rather, even if it is a big interest of mine,
it falls short in front of my other true desires.

over the months i started reading fanfiction again
(I LOVE RIKKU X GIPPAL fics but anyway...)
out of nostalgia (and ego-boost) i decided to read the reviews that other readers gave while reading my own stories.

and then it suddenly dawned upon me that...
those people were genuinely sincere in their praises.
i mean, some were like 'oh my gosh, you rock!' or 'that was so cool!'
rather... surface-ish compliments.
but some...

there was this girl (a long time ago)
who was grounded by her parents from the Internet,
but still found a way to get online so that she could read my story.

comments like 'Thank you for all your hard work on this fanfic!'
people who actually thanked me...
(hey, writing is hard work, but writing with CONTEXT, that's harder XD)
while i feel proud of my achievement, i feel humbled too.
it makes me feel like 'wow, did i really deserve all these praises?'
and it also now, made me realise that i didn't do all these supportive people any justice cos... i never completed that story.
so now, i'm back onto the story, working harder than ever.
bringing these people the best part of me that i may not even know of.

of course it doesn't mean i'm not going back to dance.
i'll still dance. i still love dancing.
but this time, i'm going to commit myself to writing again.
and even if now, those people who used to support me are no longer there.
by my own conviction i'll complete the story.

and anyway, it's not only writing.
i still love to do things like manga, anime, video games, drawing etc etc.
argh. why couldn't i just like ONE thing?

hope it was a long entry for most :P

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*
give me the freedom, and i'll write you beautiful words.
hehe, that was my fanfic profile quote.