i had a weird dream.
i dreamt of this guy as my boyfriend.
he is really... one of those perfect boyfriends anyone could wish for.
he's tall, handsome, studies (was it law or medicine?) in nus..
and he is my boyfriend.
but... i broke up with him.
and he couldn't understand...
I couldn't understand why i wanted to break up.
i remember in the dream i told him this:
"i really have a commitment problem. it happened to my previous one, to my first one. it happened for all my boyfriends except for the second one."
and he was upset and everything lar.

i woke up, and thought about this dream.
in that dream it was so real.
i broke up with him outside my house, the playground area.
it was 8 pm.
(THAT'S how real it felt)
and in the dream i actually AM referring to the real boyfriends i had before.

"previous one"- julius
"first one"- weixin
"second one"- arthur

(well, amaze no more...
those are the only three anyway XD)

that dream was so real...
what if i really am unable to commit to a person?
how many more people must i hurt?

another thing is weirder:
why did i mention arthur in that context?
okay, there is sth about our relationship then.
but its over still.

im really scared with my unemotional and fickle feelings.

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*
sad to say, [he] made the right choice in rejecting me. [1800 hours]