screw you.

i am so pissed off that i'm on the verge of cursing and swearing. heck, you can already consider me swearing my guts off. because my annoyance is so tangible, every word i say is probably as vulgar as an f-word.

you say 'come, give me your time for this'. you say 'we treasure our time together a lot'. all the things i tried to do as long as i'm home. plan failed, review, action. all the times i gave up things so that i can be around more often in a day. plan failed, review action. all the times i made sure i did everything i could before doing the things that i wanna do. plan failed, review action... that is, if i have any left. the only thing i have left is... to drop all the things i want to do. for you.

i'm not exactly euphoric when i'm saying this.

so now i see... as long as i give you ALL my time in a day, you won't be happy. any hour less, and i get it again.

you say things totally ungrounded and demeaning to the people whom i'm not as close to as you. maybe you're the one that needs some moral issues injected. maybe i'm closer to those not close to me than i am close to you.

i appreciate the things you've done for me. no doubt, you're a good person to be with. but i wish you understand that out of all my friends, i'm the most restricted. i wish you understand that i don't have much time before i lose my time to play. unlike you, i have a timeline and a schedule that i need to rush. after 2012, it's not the end of the world, but it's really the end of me being a kid. so let me do the things i wanna do. if not... it really feels that i'll spend the rest of my life listening to somebody above me.

i appreciate the things you've done to give way to me. no doubt, im the most liberal amongst all. i know you wished that you were like me when you're a kid. but i wish you understand... that things aren't the way it is anymore. or rather, the life i live in cannot let me be so. i either give up my life for you, or give up you for my life. i wish i can more cooperative, more understanding myself... but... i'm human still.

there are probably many other things i can complain. but that'll make me the immature one. gee. i'm just a kid after all, cut me some slack here.

the truth is this, no matter how hard i try to hide it: i don't want this anymore. i don't want to be the one succumbing to everything that you say, doing everything that you do. just because you're more senior. the bigger truth is this: i don't want to see you again.

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~* (hear this loud and clear)
get lost.