everyday i live i know You are my God
i lift my face and look to You my Lord
even when the mountains tremble and a thousand fall
i will stand with You, my Jesus take my all.

dont ask me why, but recently my soul needs
the world's most beautiful songs to calm my irritated self.

it's been a while since i blogged about what i did in
school (because of circumstances)
But no more of that.
i shall say as and how i like today =D

went for introductory math today,
and they taught method of proofs.
it's seriously such fun =D
it's like 'prove square root 2 is an irrational'. =D
i mean, i CAN'T do them questions (as usual)
but it's so thrilling to see math problems solved! ^^

thereafter myself, huimin and chris went for breakfast at subway.
huimin well, my cell group would know if i told them who she is =D
and yes, my other friend is also called chris, so it's really irritating
when people call 'chris' and i turn around to find that they're calling him instead.
anyway so fun, because the 3 of us were christians
so like, the table was quiet for a moment cos we said grace XD

twas fun fellowshipping with them.
although there wasn't any mention of God at all,
but the atmosphere was so peaceful =)
yeah man, i still need my brothers and sisters of Christ
as my anchors in life... like my beloved cell group =)

then we all went for tutorial together with felicia and yimin
(excepting huimin, we're all dance peeps XD)
where we got further intoxicated with proving!
just a note. this is the only time i like to prove!
i had more fun talking to the girls though ^^
they are intending to get a hall room, so nice =D

then... met part of my gesl (my service learning project group) people.
discussing about their part of their mini proposal to spread awareness
yeah, colloborating with MCYA and such
man, they seem to be very focused on what they want to do and all. =D
but still, i love my gesl group, they are really responsive and fun =)

oh well. ahh, then i met my friend joanne for a short discussion on podcasting
(yeah, that's our assignment, to do a podcast XD)
and i followed chris & natalie (i just met her =D) to play basketball.
hahaha, me play basketball? you wish! XD
i was eating lunch (chicken rice =3) while they played basketball.
kingsley joined us later on =D

it was such fun. i'm an idiot at sports,
and also self-labelled the "lazy one" in dance,
so i just sat there, at the edge of the basketball court,
eating my chicken rice so serenely
and looking so prone to get the ball whacked in my face XD
chris had to 'save' me from getting my face whacked
by running to catch the ball. but eventually i did 'kena'
thanks to my namesake who threw the ball and it hit my ear XD
yeah but kings was still saying "nevermind, hit her also nevermind."
such love =\

that's it. after seeing my girlfriends dress up everyday,
i decide that enough is enough, and that i too shall dress up. =D
soooo i gotta be more hardworking in my appearance,
but still NO NO to makeup! hehe.
i once thought that i should make a scrapbook of all the clothes i have
so i can mix and match,
not feasible XD still it's a good idea ^^

have been talking to amanda and siti, my favourite girls =D
i miss them sooo much that sometimes
i wish i studied in NUS instead.
but well, i like my school, because of dance, because of my new friends,
because i can do math! XD etc etc =D

after being told endless stories by my friends about their hall life,
i really feel like wanting to get a hall.
i mean, yeah i'm nuts to do so, but it's sucky
that i don't get to experience hall life when i have the chance to.

being the youngest, i thought back about how
i was conditioned to be dependent on others.
while i have the most freedom in my family,
it can never match up to the amount of freedom others have.

however, i'm a lot more free in my choices and decisions though.
i.e, my religion, my ambitions etc.
so i am grateful for all that.

but well, i really just want to experience hall life.
there's no way hall can be better than my home,
but the feeling of having your friends around you,
to be alone in the things that you do (and thus appreciate your family),
to feel helpless when you cannot kill that cockroach
(cos i hate to kill things)
... i want to have those experiences.

anyway, i asked.
and obviously i wasn't allowed to.
"your house is so near",
"what can be better than home?" (which is true),
"why waste the money?"
"next time you can drive to school, isn't it better than staying in a hall?"
(yeah it IS, but my family is famous for changing their decisions,
faster than the wind)

then the negotiations and the 'stay for one month' scheme came.
they say "wait... you'll have no bed?"
sheesh.
i see how pampered i really am.

i called my father to wish him happy birthday
(he's the big SIX! XD)
and i didn't know why i bothered to try, but i asked him.
obviously the answer is no.

then they said "you CAN stay in a hall,
but you have to cut down on your church activities."

forget it, i rather miss hall life than miss my life with God.

maybe it's just not God's will that i should stay in a hall.
maybe i can study extra hard so i can further my studies in NUS
(which by then, will be far enough to get a hall)
maybe i can imagine my house to be like a hall,
like what kingsley say 'hall 17' XD
(i have a strong sense of imagination, but people will call me nuts)
maybe i should stop whining and get myself together =\

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*
a paradigm shift in many ways more than one.