this is going to be a long

as usual, i'm busy with school. i just realised today that all my 5 modules are worth 3 AUs. that's heavy stuff, man. 3 modules requiring me to do lesson plans. yep, betcha didn't know your teachers slog all night doing lesson plans. we used to think they just mark papers =P

i think i'm more concerned with my lesson plan modules... so much so that i barely noticed my core modules at all. just during tutorial today, i presented my answer on the whiteboard... and in return half of my answers are wrong. =X focus!!

chris and i are already in our 11th month, i.e this feb we'll be together for 11 months! that's HUGE to me. it's my longest standing relationship XD and i must say it had been fruitful. i've not met anyone like him. 'bah, everyone says that' you would say. i guess it's true. but in my opinion, he's really superman, or maybe my superman =3 cos he really can do anything and everything... except manipulating a particular music device... =P

most of all, chris is basically the only person who is consistently able to keep my sanity around, to keep me from falling into depression. i know, you think that i "where got so jia lat one"? but sometimes things happen to me and i seriously wish that i didn't have to go through that emotional trauma. it has caused me to shun from the very havens that i used to turn to. and now...

from the many secret hiding place i go to when i'm sad, i am left with two. thank goodness one of them is always 24/7, always there, always encouraging. i can only hope that i remain as cheerful as i can, hope that i always look to Jesus for joy and strength. And... thank God for that, without Him giving me hope, love and peace, I would've lost everything by now.

then there are those whom i care for, whom i wish they don't have to suffer. truth be told, my heart aches when i see her and when i talk to him. thinking about her now, i'm on the verge of tears. i... wished she didn't have to cry alone. i wished she didn't have to feel so useless and so out of herself. i wish she didn't need to feel backed up in a corner, with nowhere to run or hide. at least i had some place to run to when i'm sad but...

and talking to him now, i can only feel pity and only hope that his efforts are not in vain...

on a lighter note, dance had been fun ^^ with performances like Parents' Day and Nanyang Arts Festival, we've been dancing everyday. I feel so bad when i go home at 11pm =X we'll have our 3d2n camp in school soon! woohoo, I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh yes, i didn't tell you, i went for Starlite (talentime) auditions, singing lady gaga's 'speechless'. i didn't get through, for various reasons:
- my voice trembled and quavered like an earthquake XDDD can't hit the notes well.
- there are many many contestants (about 20???)
- lady gaga's songs are much too hard, as compared to cliche ones like 'BECAUSE OF YOU I NEVER STRAYED TOO FAR FROM THE SIDEWALK~~~' =X
oh well, there's still the next one to join again! ^^

with the new year, i bought coloured contacts, for fashionable purposes. i've become quite addicted to it, such that when i don't wear it i feel weird XD i'm still trying out various colours, so hehe ^^ also, i've gotten to wanting to dress up more. so i caught myself shopping more and more. argh... i'm actually becoming more vain =(

here are my new year resolutions!!!!

1.) make more effort to dress up and look nice.
going to put in more effort to moisturise, shop, try out products etc. argh, did i just sound like a girl?!?

2.) be more patient and less sensitive to snide comments.
think i've not kept to this so far in the year. opps. =X

3.) start exercising regularly.
thanks to jasmine, i love to go swimming, and i wanna go swim soon! i wish i can be more enthusiastic with jogging... but hehee, step by step la. XD i'm exercising for the benefit of dance and who wouldn't mind losing a little weight? =P

4.) seek God diligently.
this is always a resolution of mine, because one can never be satisfied with the level of relationship with God. we should always aim for a better relationship with God. read the Bible, pray more etc.

5.) join a ministry.
already done something about it, applied for bookstore ministry. going to see the team leader for a short interview later at 3pm. hopefully i get in ^^

6.) help more in cell group
hehe, i don't know how, since everyone is so talented in my cell group, but i'll do my best =P talk and connect with more members lo =)

7.) do better academically
yes, i did better last sem. and i'm going to try to pull up my cgpa as high as my 'little' brain can bring me =P i should start by paying more focus to my core modules XD do my tutorial on time, and try NOT to let my mind wander unnecessarily.

8.) improve in dance.
yes, i really do. so... be more focused in sessions, dance to your death i.e don't slack!! go through dance moves everywhere... walking, lectures (opps, there's a contradiction!) XDDD

kudos to me if i can really do these XDDD

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*
see you *yawn*