(this entry is going to be the 400th blog post, including drafts.)

400 blog posts.
over 150 handwritten and typed notes.
25 volumes of my diary.
19.5 years of my life.

it's amazing how i managed to keep track of my life up to now.
but things get busier.
things get prioritised more over others.
things get forgotten.

it's kinda taken that i've stopped writing my diary for almost 6 months already.
there have been so many things that happened that i can barely begin to sit down and write.
and even as i type i know there are things in 2006 onwards that are misplaced everywhere in my computer for me to find.
goodness knows when they can be compiled as one again.

as much as i can, i try to remember the things that happen to me.
and nowadays, chris has become my walking diary.
yet, so many more things that happened that i can't unload onto chris all at once.
i long for my diary again.
but with school work, and church, and dance, and what with barely no time for myself,
is it worth it to pick up this good old friend of mine,
and start recording my life again?

***

there are many things in my life now that needs my attention.
however, i'm placing my attention on things or people who don't seem to need my attention.
the very things that burden me are the things that add burden to my life.
should i therefore give up on them?
should i now focus on things that have been longing for my attention long enough?
is it wise that i leave these things alone, even though my heart aches for them?
or really be long-suffering, and hope that one day the fruits will show?

***

no matter what, You are always here with me =)

***

You hang the stars
Your Love makes them glow
You care for the Lilies, the sparrows You Hold
I open my eyes
Your mercies unfold
When I close my eyes, there's one thing I know

Jesus Loves me
Calls me His own
Jesus Loves me
He makes me whole
Jesus Loves me
Heart overflows
It is well, it is well with my soul

You took my pain
And carried Your Cross
You kept all my tear drops
And shed them like Yours
You felt all my grief on Calvary's hill
Your heart was so broken
Now I can be healed

when i heard this song this afternoon, something broke within me.
and i could almost feel the rawness of my heart to this song.
it's a definite must-hear for those who need love.
i placed the video here =D but well, youtube kinda muffled the song quality =X





okok spiritual things aside.

there was a period in time that i was listening to etta james.
the only song i know from her was introduced by lokies, 'at last'
and i realised that she's the one that inspired many singers to sing like her.
so i decided to see what songs she sang.
to my disappointment, i didn't really like most of her songs.
she has a few nice upbeat songs, but don't really like her songs =P
it was nice to experiment though ^^
i'm sure she was a controversial singer then =)

today is a BIG BIG BIG day for joshua and susian!
i hereby announce that the both of them are water baptised =DDDD
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so happy for my 2 big brothers!
continue to shine and love God more and more =DDDD
especially susian... it's a big burden off my back to see him adapting in the cell group.
hope that he'll find fulfillment in his walk with God, like how i found it in mine =)
and hope that joshua will continue to be bigger and stronger in his own things in his life.
wahhhh so proud of them XDDDDDDD

real glad to see the new faces come for dance so far.
just hope that they'll last, they'll stay around.
it'll suck big time if the committee can't even handover =P

i'm glad that things are alright between us =)
we may have had many... erm... hiccups along the way.
but it's really great that things are okay now,
and look forward to talking with you all the time =)
may things get even better for us.
(and the things that we worry about be straightened ^^)

seems that many things are coming my way.
told xiao hui that if it really did come, i must be wise and prioritise.
hopefully i deliver what i say and can do the best i can in all aspects of my life.

gee, i don't really know what i'm typing already.
it's just random penning of thoughts.
there isn't much in my mind that influenced what i write now XD

i better go do my work now =X see ya =DDDD

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*
is this something that i should endure? or fight?